i am notoriously bad at keeping up on this blog. there are many reasons - generally the only time i'm on the computer is at work, i find it difficult knowing how much to share, i write many posts in my head - while i'm driving, in the shower, etc - and can't for the life of me remember what i was going to say when i'm actually in front of the computer screen...and last but not least, but probably the most likely is that i continuously self edit and that doesn't work well when you're trying to write on a regular basis.
well, i'm going to give it a try, to simply write. truthfully, honestly, perhaps poorly, but i will write. i've been away awhile - well She has been away awhile. She is the one discovered after the pretending was over and the masks were removed. She was the one living inside - the artist, the musician, the writer, the lover. She was bright and passionate and geniune and i was instantly drawn to her. there are certain dear friends that welcomed her and allowed her to have a voice. over time and through life events She retreated again. i've missed her, this authentic self. i've invited her to come out and play. we're reading wonderful books together - Julia Cameron and SARK, and we're writing every day, and we just signed up for photography classes (learning to develop black and white in a dark room!!!). over time i hope that this "we" can become me again. it will take putting one foot in front of the other and continuing to walk hand in hand with those deepest desires. learning to accept the whole instead of only a part. not being afraid of criticism. not allowing any boxes. setting healthy boundaries for myself. learning a bit of self care. it's a process. a journey. a path that i will always walk, that may have many meandering curves, with some deep valleys, steep hills and breathtaking views. i have lost enough time.
peace to you.