this is my grandpa with me when i was about three or four. i haven't written about it yet, but he died on december 14. my dad and his brothers and my grandma were all with him at home. he had been in a lot of pain and was more than ready to take the next step of his journey. i know this was extremely difficult for my grandmother - he had been her companion for 60 years. and listening to my father talk about the devastating sound of his last breath was painful. we were all together for his funeral and it was a beautiful experience to see all of the people that had been changed by knowing this man who i was fortunate enough to have come from. watching my dad tell his father goodbye and i love you for the last time is a moment that will be permanently fixed in my memory. it was sad and intimate and vulnerable - watching my father, who is a very large man, be a child again, talking to his daddy.
my grandfather's life was and is, i believe, very full. and i miss him. i didn't see him as often as i would have liked, but the times we spent together - they were good.